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Pissed.

I don’t spend more than what I have and I save. Don’t make assumptions like I’m overspending and that hanging out with rich friends is bringing me astray. Have the basic courtesy to talk to me and not make an ass out of you and me. You may not earn a lot and I don’t remember asking for anything big ticketed (except for $3000 to Italy for a school art trip). And I am always careful to make my requests known politely and I never demand that they be granted. I am always thinking of what I jobs I can do to earn my own money and buy things I want instead of asking you for money. Shouldn’t you be pleased with that? No, you had to think that maybe hanging out with a rich friend is leading me astray and making me have a wild fantasy about life and spending money like water. I’m sorry to inform you but just like you, I work and I know how hard it is to earn money and I sure as hell don’t have wild fantasies of life. Other than the taxi fares I pay for to go to work in the morning when I am running late (which is super far away and during peak hour, fml), there is nothing else major and that can be considered a “luxury” that I spend on. Which eye of yours sees me spending and on what items? Maybe the worse part of this whole fiasco is that I only know what you said after hearing about it from my sister’s mouth who ALSO thinks like you do and has no right to lecture me without getting the facts right. And that I am retarded-ly typing these out on my blog to rant without you ever getting to know of it. At least not now cause I am way too upset, too hurt and too sad and sure to flare up and cry like no one’s business if I were to face you in the hall right now. Maybe I’m feeling all these because I just don’t measure up to your other two daughters. One was on scholarship and often refused money you offered. The other is on scholarship and is doing so well that she’s paid generously on internship. I’m sorry I’m not as good as them two. I’m sorry If I am asking for too much sometimes. Sometimes I feel it, that I’m a disappointment and maybe it would have been a wiser choice if you had decided to abort me 21 years back. I know I can be ungrateful and rude and a disappointment. I may not be making a big effort to be a sensible child but you sure aren’t making it any easier for me either.

One thought on “Pissed.

  1. I feel like a disappointment sometimes too… Everything went well until I decided not to be a banker, trader, accountant, financier isn’t for me… Sometimes I still wonder if I’m making more mistakes…

    People judge and assume all the time. People look at my clothes and mannerisms and decide I’m gay? I guess it’s worst when even your own family thinks so…

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